Lots of Balls in Washington

One thing about the Inauguration to be aware of is the many balls that are happening in Washington. Inauguration is a lot like the acceptance speech at the Oscars only they don't play you off the stage. Inaugural Balls are like the post Oscar Parties, only people wear a hell of a lot more black clothing and people are drunkenly talking about numbers, charts, graphs, and policies, rather than movies, publicists, and who's dressed the worst.

Now you have to know your balls quite well. There are a lot of balls in DC..... more than you'd think. And everyone dresses up special for their balls. Even some caucuses have balls! Thus far there are 9 official and 31 unofficial balls. Everything from Native American balls, to the official Commander and Chief Ball hosted by military personal ... you could I suppose call that the Brass Ball.. There are Hawaiian balls, in the past a Texas/Wyoming Ball presumably because that was where the Pres and VP were from. I've been told that Texas has very large balls or at least they like to think they do.

CNN did a recent special about the Balls and the extravagances that you see at these balls. Everyone wants to have a big expensive flashy ball - I mean who doesn't want to see some flashy balls right? Especially in Washington which often times is filled with so much darkness and seriousness. But, at a time when the economy is in peral and our Commander in Chief will face some pretty steep challenges on Day 1, do we want him out the night before taking in so many balls? I mean... you really have to pace yourself...

In the past balls have been paid for by flashy lobbyists and companies hoping to wine and dine key members in the Washington community. But if you've given you r two cents on Change.gov then you have also been asked to be a contributor to the transition and inauguration to prove that small donors can fund this thing just like we funded the campaign. That said... of the millions upon millions of donors to the Obama campaign only a select 4 million are expected to come to DC and lets face it... there just aren't enough balls for all of us to attend.

Similarly, most balls require tickets which are often times pricey, so the kinds of people who are able to attend either have to have the hook up or they have to have money. This means, largely that young people are once again... shut out of the influence, the celebration, and the flashy crab cakes.

But the Babyboomer Professionals get the Celebration of Change Ball... where they will all get to groove to some easy listening and sip on champagne while undoubtably talking about how big and awesome their ball is. No word on whether it will be a disco ball.

The cheapest balls I can find are certainly the unofficial balls like the Garden State Ball(New Jersey is the Garden State) which is only $125 with black tie optional... its unclear whether you get wacked at the end of the night or if the wine is from a box...

The Change the Nation Celebration Ball plays the song Celebration when you look up the invite. That is a cheap ball at $125 and hosted by a consulting firm in Maryland... So if you want to schlep way up north to see some hawt ball action, its only $125 and $125 for the cab to get there.

The Illinois State Society is hosting a $300 Gala, no word yet on if you must pronounce it gay-la or gall-la if you attend.

The Creative Coalition which works to lobby for arts policies and such is hosting their super pricey Hollywood Liberals Gala where the LA and New York finance committee will be in full ball on ball mode. Last time I saw Susan Sarandon she was quite drunk, so I'm sure the Creative Coalition won't mind if I forgo the $10,000 and sit this one out ...

While I can make jokes about the size of people's balls, or their caucus balls, or the attire for their balls, or whether they like to call their balls gay-las or whatever... the long and the short for balls is that young people, who had a huge part in the success of President Obama's election are being once again.... ignored.

No ball for you... and even if there was a youthy ball, a small youthy ball, with popcorn and boxed wine, Snoop calling Obama the Prizzle... whatever ... we would then have to figure out how the hell to help young people pay the thousands of dollars for hotel rooms or to rent apartments for the weekend.

CNN has one thing right - we want to party with Obama, we want to celebrate the success, but having big balls is not quite as great as passing policies that impact our lives, particularly when you're a demographic or interest group that will have no access and/or no credibility when it comes to admission, official Presidential Balls or not. Our night can just be about free ballin'.