Alberto Gonzales

For those looking to catch up on a busy week of Justice Department officials who just can’t seem to tell the truth about anything, here’s a timeline for this week of the fantastical verbal contortionists who appeared before the Senate Judiciary Committee regarding the fired US Attorneys.

Think of it like Cirque du Soleil, except instead of whimsy and Frenchmen, it’s the executive branch of government raping our collective trust that there may be at least some area of government that hasn’t been corrupted into a political blunt instrument of the present White House.

March 24th: Justice Department liaison to the White House Monica “Buzz Saw” Goodling announces she will be taking an indefinite leave of absence from her current duties. As reported in the Legal Times, Buzz Saw’s interview technique for future US Attorney’s was to ask them on a scale of 1 to 10 how much they loved unlimited executive power, and then to dismiss any she thought lacked necessary loyalty to the Bush White House.

Oddly, Goodling appeared to have had a long history of being the savage right hand of many within the Republican National Committee, including RNC opposition research guru and Karl Rove aide Tim Griffin. Griffin later appeared as the White House pick to be US Attorney for Eastern Arkansas. The words you might be searching for are, “Oh snap.”

“The president continues to have confidence in the attorney general. As the Justice Department said last night, these new documents are not inconsistent with its previous statements.” - Deputy Press Secretary Dana Perino

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